Realizing that I am going through fear and having the courage to face it has been essential in the last 7 years, let alone 7 days. Finally understanding how much I've been feeding this fear through worry and hesitation and "processing" has been so incredibly self-indulgent. I'm finally willing to accept that I may not have gotten the Love I wanted or deserved to have as a child/adolescent growing up, but ultimately it taught me to cultivate self Love as opposed to attaching myself to receiving it on the outside. This is a very interesting containment process which I am grateful to have had the assistance of Sacred Path community, and my family and friends and lovers and everyone who has been a part of showing me how to cultivate this inner Love. It is a dual process of experiencing it from the outside and reflecting it on the inside & vice versa.
Living in the place I am living now has taught me a lot about facing the deeper inner fears as well, fear of pain & suffering and death especially. They say that Waipi'o has a portal to the underworld & I believe it from what I have been through here. In the 8+ months I have spent here I have experienced far more of facing my inner depths of uncertainty, illusion, separation, anger, disappointment, and chaos in high intensity than any other time period of my life. As I see my Saturn return in Scorpio approaching, I sense this is the pinnacle of owning my own power.
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