What am I hiding from? Where am I holding back love? Where do I feel unworthy of the love, money, lifestyle, comfort, desires & freedom I seek? Some critical voice in my head that is reminiscent of my mother tells me that I have to work hard to earn money and that I am not a hard worker. This is untrue. I know I have worked hard & believe that is not the only way to be of value, service and worth in this world. I feel the lack of respect and discernment that was given to my own heart by my choices and actions has resulted in this belief system being thrust upon me at some level.
I choose to rewire my brain and thought patterns for success and new beliefs around worth. I am so worthy of love from myself and others. I value my time tremendously & so do others. I value my gifts and share them in service to the world, receiving excellent financial compensation to uplift my standard of living, investing in my self growth, opportunity to uplift others in their growth and be a channel for beauty and peace in this world. I align myself with others who share this vision & bow in humility and reverence to the divine in all, while standing tall and strong in my power as a leader.
I rest deeply, knowing there is nothing to create/do and yet all is done in allowing spirit to guide and move me effortlessly. I listen deeply, rooted in the safety of my soul. As I dive down deeply into the subconscious waters of my being, I find softness and strength, passion and allowing, yearning and fulfillment with every breath. I feel my womb deeply, knowing it is creating the very fabric of reality which I am experiencing, mirroring the womb of the universe breathing in and expanding, breathing out & contracting, wave after wave of development.
I stand in my truth, boldly & compassionately allowing the feelings to wash over me. Here are some of my understandings of humanity on the following subjective levels from accumulated personal experience and analysis: femininity, desire for safety, security & love, manipulation & control to receive these things when they are simply an inside reality that is perpetuated by fear, lack and control, rather than love, acceptance and truth. These things are so challenging to be honest about and require so much courage to face. I have done my best to work both outwardly and inwardly to be self sufficient, running into many emotional stumbling blocks along the way requiring patience and kindness with myself and others. Perhaps I have too much ego and this gets in the way of humbling myself to the reality that others are creating? I feel so let down and left out when it is not something I am creating or have the say in. I think there is a part of me that knows I am one with creator and feels the power and ability to co-create, yet has difficulty in surrendering to will of the creator because I do not know what this will is & am not sure I trust it. Sometimes I feel this “will” is the will of others around me manipulating and controlling me to achieve their desires through me, as I do through them. This is where I begin to lose trust/faith in the process of creating. How do I solve this?
Beliefs. Examine your beliefs. The will of others mirrors the will of creator which is also you. What do you believe to be true about yourself?
I am totally and completely self-sufficient and require interdependence within community to achieve this.
All my needs for food, shelter, warmth, physical/emotional/mental/spiritual security, and connection are met.
My desires are valid and stay in balance with my values and ideals. I can achieve and allow simultaneously to cocreate/manifest my desires.
I deeply care for myself, the earth, my community and service to these things.
I am allowed to be playful, free, joyful and serene. I allow myself peace, clarity, love, meaningful work/service.
I am a channel for healing and compassion, starting with myself.
Living the life of my dreams is easy.
I am committed to myself and maintaining connection with spirit first and foremost.
There is always enough. I am enough. I am worthy and valued. Anything that says otherwise is not real and will be transformed.
I am infinite and limitless. Limitations are my ally to bring a vision into a physical form and reality. I embrace time, experience and limitation as a means to bring forth the beauty of love which spirit pours into me into this world.
These are wonderful beliefs! Now what are your shadow beliefs holding you back? What can you recognize & letting go of, creating & holding space for and expanding these positive beliefs to take firmer root and manifest more clearly?
(You may transform them to be positive affirmations too!)
I need a partner to feel my most sensual/loving/creative/alive/passionate self
Transforms to: I feel my most sensual/loving/creative/alive/passionate self now
I am incapable of giving myself the level of satisfaction, pleasure, love and material comfort I desire
Transforms to: I am capable of giving myself the level of satisfaction, pleasure, love and material comfort I desire
I am unable to feel safe in myself to feel all of my emotions when they happen, speaking up & asking for what I need/want for fear of rejection
I am able to feel safe in myself to feel all of my emotions when they happen, speaking up & asking for what I need/want being mature/patient enough when I do not receive it immediately & am asked to go through a process of deeper revelation/compassion/understanding through challenging emotional obstacles to allow me to be fully receptive to that which is truly meant for me
What do you love/have/create/do?
I have & create passion and purpose. I have & create love and connection. I have & create spiritual connection and elevation. I have and create an open heart and mind. I have clean fresh energizing water. I have & create freedom to be who I am and compassion for the person I am in the process of becoming. I have and create spiritual and emotional renewal & cleansing. I have and create healthy boundaries. I have and create financial abundance. I have and create awareness and friendship. I have and create humor and laughter. I have and create relaxation and rest. I have and create ease and pleasure in my body. I have and create healthy and delicious foods. I have quality restorative sleep. I do regular vigorous exercise of my body disguised as fun. I have and create optimal physical, mental, emotional, financial, social and spiritual health. I have and create regular time in nature, connecting to the earth. I have and create space for myself to connect within to myself, checking in and making commitments to the life of my dreams. I remember who I am & always hold space for the fullness of myself unapologetically.
On a different note: sorting out the karmic interactions on this earth. Shadows of shadows of shadows. Look to the light you are. Stay focused on the internal reality of sound and light. Listen to the beauty within, letting it guide you. Walk in light & beauty, remaining in single pointed focus.
When feeling the pull of desire: Go within and be with it, feel it & understand where it comes from & how to fulfill it internally by directing it back towards spirit with belief work, watch as external events unfold with ease and grace, requiring less effort and doing. Feel it in the body, directing it to the places that need more awareness and attention/love/devotion/space.
Know that desire is a gift if we are patient and allow it to teach us the longing which purifies us to be in greater reverence & union with spirit.
In my waking world I find myself vacillating between the reality of knowing who I am internally and how the harshness of the world and it’s physical reality shows up sometimes. The harshness of judgmental/critical separation when all it is doing is showing me aspects of myself less integrated than before.
I find myself longing for peace within, knowing my heart will only rest in loving myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment